Life Changes...

Life Changes that I CAN Live With Forever:

* exercise most days of the week

* eat vegetables and fruit every day

* drink a lot of water

* eat only when hungry, stop eating when satisfied

* make educated healthy decisions about food, most of the time

Life Changes that I CANNOT Live With Forever:

* exercise at least 5 days a week!

* eat mostly fruits and vegetables!

* drink nothing but water!

* eat a certain number of calories/points daily, and ALWAYS write it down!

* tweak all holiday meals and desserts to make them "point-friendly"!

* weigh youself weekly!

As you can see, some of the ww rules are things that I simply can't claim I will do forever. And I'm not going to do anything to lose this weight that I am not willing to do forever. I understand why ww has the rules it has, and I know that there are many members out there who can and will abide by them forever. Me, I'm a rebel. I'm redesigning ww for myself. I know there will be people out there who will dissaprove, but I officially don't care. This will work for me, and in the end that's all that matters. :-)

Starting Weight on IE-October 3, 2009--211.0
Current Weight on IE-November 28, 2009--202.0

That's still an average of more than a pound a week! I'm pretty content to lose at this rate. I have started to make water and exercise priorities. Hopefully that will help with the loss, too. I'm still doing Intuitive Eating and losing weight, which is great. I'm trying to not let this be the focus of my life, just how I eat.

Book Review: The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand

Finally. I'm done with The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. If I said that it was an easy read, I would be lying. I'm a pretty impatient person, but I was determined to read it all the way through before picking up my next book. And I did. And it was glorious! I loved this book. It was nearly 700 pages long, and it took me nearly two months to read.

The characters are all so complicated. I fell in love with most of them, hated a few, and wanted to know why they did what they did. Dominique Francon and Howard Roark were the center of the the story, the characters that I wanted to know more about. It had a love story in it, but it was mostly about ideals. Egotism versus altruism. Very interesting. It made me want to be an egotist!

Architecture is what the book wanted me to think it was about, but it was so much more than that. It was the story of a man who was independent to an extreme, and about how that was his downfall and his ticket to success.

After spending two months with these characters, I am a little sad that it's over. What happened to Dominique, Gail, Peter, and Howard? I am planning on renting the movie based on the book now.

Up next: Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffeneger.

"real" food?

I'm starting to enjoy "real" food more and more. By "real" I mean no "high-fiber" "reduced fat" "fat free" or "light" products. That's right, I am eating bagels with cream cheese spread on them, and the cream cheese is not "fat free" or even "reduced fat". I have found that eating these full fat cheeses and yogurts keeps me full longer. It's amazing how long it took me to learn that. I would eat 5 or 6 slices of fat free cheese with "light" bread, and still be hungry. A piece of 100% whole grain bread with a slice of "real" cheese will keep me full for hours. I'm to the point where I'm starting to think about nutrition, but gently. That's what intuitive eating is about; the book briefly focuses on "gentle nutrition".

I am still enjoying my doritos and poptarts, but they are no longer the only thing I eat. I have added vegetables back into my diet, and whole grain bread, and chicken! I've discovered that a bagel or a waffle with a spreading of peanut butter will keep me full for several hours, and pop tarts will only satisfy for a couple. Therefore, pop tarts are something that I will eat occasionally, not every day. And baby carrots with some "real" dressing will satisfy my craving for something crunchy and also give me something with real nutritional value, unlike doritos. So, I'm learning. And I'm losing weight, which is amazing.

No deprivation... eating everything in moderation... things that seem like common sense, but just never have been for me, until now.

Updated Stats

Starting weight on Intuitive Eating (October 3, 2009)--211

Current weight (November 14, 2009)--203.6

Down another 1.2 pounds!!! I hope to continue the trend. I do have an exercise plan in place for the week, and plenty of frozen and canned vegetables and fruits to help me to get back on track with the food pyramid somewhat. Nothing fresh, but fresh costs more.

Eating like a "Gilmore Girl"

The charactors Lorelai and Rory Gilmore have my dream diet: eat out every day, order in every friday, and the four food groups: fast food, frozen food, junk food and takeout.

As I watch the show and realize that the actors Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel probably do not actually eat like that, I still get sucked into the dream that maybe they do. I would love to eat that way forever and stay slim and pretty.

This weekend I certainly ate like a Gilmore. My boyfriend and I ate frozen pizza and oreos for dinner on Saturday and again on Sunday. We added some french fries and popcorn chicken for lunch... wow, were our stomaches sore! I did only eat to satisfaction, and so I did follow the basic principles of Intuitive Eating, but I realize that eating that much processed fattening food on a daily basis will not lead to the healthy weight that I so desperately want.

Still, it's nice to dream.

Clean Your Plate!

The last few days I've gotten a little back into "cleaning my plate" and less eating intuitively. I need to stop this now and get back on the wagon. I'm definately sliding into diet mentality!!! It must end today, right now. I love Intuitive Eating (so much that I capitolize the letters nearly every time I type about it).

So why am I losing my focus? Hmmm... I really don't know. But it's over now. Today is a new day, and I'm resolving to get right back on track. I am sipping my coffee and waiting for hunger before I eat anything. No hunger yet, but I have poptarts in my purse for when it does occur. I'm done cleaning my plate! Here are a couple of things that I am going to try the next few days to get me back on track:

1) only put really small portions in front of me. I can always go back for more if still actually hungry. This way, if I clean my plate I probably won't overeat and may still be hungry.
2) drink water between bites. Put utensil down between bites. Breathe between bites. Anything to get myself focused on my hunger level.
3) Turn off the TV! Stop eating so much in front of the boob tube. I've never been able to completely master this, so to be realistic I will say no more than one meal per day watching TV.

Hopefully I will rediscover the joys of intuitive eating by practicing these things. I'm really excited about the concept of IE, because I know that some day I will be thin and healthy and still eating whatever I want whenever I want. But I need to master the basic principles now.

Gazelle to the rescue!

I am loving my gazelle exercise machine. It's so smooth and quiet that I don't have to turn the volume on the TV up at all. It's easy and fun to do, but not so easy for me that I'm not sweating within the first five minutes. I'm pretty out of shape compared to other reviewers, apparently. I read some reviews for this, and most said "for the beginner it would be great. Me, I didn't break a sweat, but found it to be too easy." So not my take on it. I'm not really a beginner... or maybe I am. I've been exercising pretty much my entire life, on and off. I'm currently pretty out of shape. So, maybe I am a beginner. I don't know, I just know that I love my gazelle. It takes away any excuse to not exercise that I previously had. Now I have two options at home: the gazelle and the stepper. This week I've been using both. Gazelle for 30-45 minutes and then the stepper for a bit. Last night I did 45 minutes on the gazelle and only 5 on the stepper. 50 minutes total, so I'm not complaining, I think it was a great workout. Tonight I'm planning on stepping it up to 60 minutes.

Today I was out of grab-and-go breakfast food (read: pop tarts). I turned to the leftover Halloween candy. I ate three small pieces, and so far, that's all I've eaten today. Usually when I have breakfasts like this, I pay for it later with a sick stomache. It hasn't happened yet this morning... I did eat the candy mindfully, and that's one of my major goals. My boyfriend thinks that we should work on eating what's in the fridge/freezer/pantry before going grocery shopping again. And I get what he's saying. It's just that.... I don't want any of that crap!

New Stats

I completely forgot to update my stats with you:

Starting Weight on IE: 211 (October 3, 2009)
Current Weight: 204.8 (November 7 weigh-in)

Just did the math, and that's an average loss of 1.24 per week. Not bad for someone who eats pizza and cake on a regular basis! (and feels no guilt for it, either!)

Update

Wow it's been a bit since posting here. Been busy with work and life, I suppose. But I'm still on the Intuitive Eating bandwagon. I absolutely love it.

Halloween, for example, went very well. To prove it, I could show you a big bowl ful of candy that still sits in my cabinet. Meaning I haven't used the extra candy as an excuse to binge eat. Nope, it's still there for when I'm actually hungry for it, but it's not driving me crazy... in fact I rarely think about it. Huge accomplishment for a food addict.

Also, I've been losing weight. Eating well, losing weight. It's quite an accomplishment. Last week I was very sick. I had a head cold/sinus infection. I did not exercise the entire week. Also didn't make the best choices when hungry, usually something high sodium like soup and crackers. I did not lose weight. But... and this is a big "but"... I didn't gain either! I consider that a huge victory to not gain weight the week I'm sick.

I purchased a gazelle elliptical machine this weekend at a yard sale ($15, awesome deal) and am planning to get back into exercising now that I'm feeling better. Here is my exercise plan for the week:
Monday and Wednesday: lower body weights, 30-45 minutes gazelle
Tuesday and Thursday: upper body weights, 45-60 minutes gazells
Friday: Day of rest
Saturday and Sunday: 45-60 minutes gazelle

Also, I'm experimenting with food. I made a list of my favorite foods, pre-dieting. Most are not so unhealthy, and I've been avoiding them for crazy diet reasons. Last night I bought the following at the grocery store:
"everything" bagels
regular cream cheese
regular yogurt
These foods are not that horrible for me, in fact some would say the yogurt is healthy. However I've been on a "light" and "fat free" kick for years now, and have been avoiding these. I'm looking forward to my bagel and yogurt dinner tonight. It should be very satisfying.

(copied straight from my ww.com blog)

Things are going very well on my intuitive eating plan. I don't weigh in until Monday, so I'm not sure of the weight results, but I'm having a great time with it.

Things that I've learned about myself:
-If I eat intuitively, I don't eat as often or as much as I used to.
-If I listen to my cravings and hunger signals, sometimes I will crave things like lean protein and vegetables!
- I don't even really like Little Debbies that much. If I eat one, slowly and mindfully, the flavor is just not that great.
-I still have issues with pizza and chips, it's very hard to eat those slowly. I will try again, but no time soon (unless the craving is HUGE, because I am allowed to eat anything)
- I like coffee. (okay, has nothing to do with intuitive eating, but something that I discovered this week, so I thought I'd throw it in)

Here is what I've eaten today:
-1 whole wheat bagel with a thin spreading of reduced fat peanut butter (didn't measure it, but it had to be less than a tablespoon)
-1/2 grilled cheese sandwich with about a 1/2 cup of tomato soup
-piece of birthday cake (surprise from the girls at the office)

Normally by this time of day I would have eaten tons more than that and would be feeling pretty bloated and gassy by now. But now I'm feeling satisfied, and not guilty at all about the one (small-ish) piece of cake.

My exercise this week has been good, I finally got around to adding in a weights routine. I've been doing 15 minutes of weights and 30 minutes of cardio every day. A couple of days I added 15-20 minutes to the cardio, but I'm not worried about it. I am listening to my body, and my body is loving the exercise, especially the weights. I feel the squats and lunges especially today.

Yesterday's Food Journal

10/15/09
7:30 a.m.- ate a bag of mini quaker delights. Was still hungry, ate a fiber plus bar. Satisfied.

10:00 a.m.- ate two mini 3 musketeers bars from office bowl. Was very hungry before, satisfied after. Thinking about adding a protein to my breakfast, or eating half before work and half around 10.

11:30 a.m.- feeling kind of hungry. Looking at my past choices and seeing no “real” food. I need some protein and vegetables or something whole for lunch… maybe then my hunger will be conquered for several hours. I’m drinking water, not sure if this is real hunger or not.

11:45 a.m.- ended up eating another packet of quaker mini delights to satisfaction.

12:30 p.m.- home for lunch. Was craving meat and vegetables, so I ate some leftover meatloaf and some green beans. Wanted something sweet and was still hungry, so I ate another packet of quaker minis, which makes me think that those are addictive, since I’ve now eaten 3 in one day! Feeling very satisfied with my lunch. I’m planning on drinking another liter of water before work is over.

5:30 p.m.- hungry after work. Went to Mom’s house and ate a couple of cheese sticks, then a bowl of reduced fat wheat thins with some salsa. Very satisfied!

7:30 p.m.- Mom and Dad ordered pizza and I ate 2 slices. Too full, should have stopped after one.

7:50 p.m.- None the less, I ate a third slice quickly before going home. Bad IE.

I'm not going to torture myself about why on earth I ate a third slice of pizza after I was already full... Moving on, and tomorrow will be another great new day!

Intuitive Eating, Day 3

Okay, so one thing that I have definately noticed that is different about my eating habits: When I eat for hunger, I'm only hungry about 3 times a day. Isn't that INSANE?! Of course, that is not going to be made into a rule now, because that would completely go against IE. I have been involved in way too many diet plans that have encouraged not only what I should eat, but how often. And the majority of them told me to eat every couple of hours, to "keep my metabolism going". It turns out that when I listen to my true hunger signals, not only am I eating less, I'm eating less often. Crazy, isn't it?

This morning, I was only a little hungry and ate a pack of quaker mini snacks. Delicious! Very small "meal" so I may get hungry again before lunch, but I have a pursefull of snacks so I should be okay.

I need to go fill up my water bottle. I am trying to stick with the weight watchers GHGs, but I'm not focusing on it too much during the first couple of weeks of IE. I need to first get used to the ideas that I can eat anything, that there are no "good foods" and "bad foods" just "foods". And also to the idea that I can eat only when hungry, and MUST STOP when satisfied. Those are really difficult ideas to me, but it's worth being able to eat anything.

I must say that I still have "trigger foods". I discovered that on monday, when I sat down to eat some pringles, fully planning on stopping when satisfied... yeah that didn't happen! So I hope that eventually I won't have any "trigger foods" and that I can really eat ANYTHING to satisfaction, knowing that I can always go back for seconds if really hungry.

Intuitive Eating, Day 2

I'll be honest: Last night was some very non-intuitive eating. My boyfriend had some little debbies in the house, and I ended up eating three. Okay, I was actually hungry, but I still think that I should have chosen something healthier. However, Intuitive Eating has taught me to not judge any food as better or worse than any other food. It's so hard, after years and years of "dieting" to accept that if I'm hungry and really want a Little Debbies instead of an apple, that I can. I still think that I should have stopped after one, but it's a lesson learned. I cannot control myself around boxes of Little Debbies. Not yet, anyway.

Today so far has been okay. I did eat both pop-tarts for breakfast, and had a hamburger with french fries for lunch. Okay, not the healthiest meals so far... but again, I'm learning this intuitive eating thing, and I only ate when hungry and stopped when satisfied. So that much is good. No overeating, but I could be making better choices.

This week's exercising schedule, backtracking to Monday:

M- 45 minutes stair stepper
T- 40 minutes stair stepper
W- either 60 minutes of kickboxing at the gym or 60 minutes stairstepper
Th-45 minutes stair stepper, or 60 minutes at the gym on cardio
F- 45 minutes of anything.

I have been having issues with the gym this week, as you can see. I planned every day so far to go to they gym and have ended up exercising at home on my stair stepper. I wish that I had my own elliptical machine...

Book Review: My Life in Orange, by Timothy Guest

I didn't know what to expect with this first book. It is a memoir and I am not accostomed to reading memoirs. As soon as I started it, the book was very hard to put down. It was not only well-written, but very interesting.

It documents the childhood of Timothy Guest, who grew up on Indian communes that were under the guidance of a guru named Bhagwan. His selfish mother is the character that most sticks out in my mind; on a journey towards self-discovery, she loses touch with being a mother almost completely.

I won't give any further details, because I highly encourage you to read this book! It was great, and I got it from amazon.com for a penny (plus $3 s&h, but still).

Next up: The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. I started this one last night, and I can't wait to see what happens! It's over 700 pages long, so it may be a while before my next book review.

Intuitive Eating, Day One

Today is day one of my intuitive eating study. Basically, I eat what I want, when I want, always. The only trick is that I can only eat when I'm truly hungry, and must stop eating as soon as I'm satisfied. It's pretty exciting for me, it feels like true freedom. I'm still going to incorporate WW into this, trying to get in the GHGs and everything like that, but no more counting points. (this is an experiment, so if I gain on this or feel unhealthy in any way, I will go back to counting points).

When I woke up, I wasn't hungry. I drank my coffee with some milk, grabbed some poptarts for when I did get hungry, and was off to work. Usually I would inhale the poptarts/cereal/yogurt and fruit as soon as I woke up, hungry or not. Or eat it quickly in the car on the way to work. Today I realized that I was just not hungry when I woke up. I ate one poptart, slowly, around 10:30. This was after drinking a lot of water and making sure that I was really hungry. It was very satisfying and I ended up being able to put the second pop tart down... huge accomplishment for me!!!

At 12:30, it was time for lunch. I ate a wrap with some cheese and deli slices in it. One wrap, and I was satisfied. Okay, it was only two hours since I ate breakfast, but still, big accomplishment for me. Usually it would be two wraps and some triscuits, because I had the points for it. Or a lean cuisine with an entire bag of ff popcorn, again, because I had the points for it.

I am planning on going to the gym right after work for at least thirty minutes. Dinner will have to include a lot of GHGs, since I haven't been hungry for those yet, except the dairy and lean protein. Oh wait, deli slices don't count as lean protein, do they? Hmmm... Anyway, I'm not sure what dinner will be, but it will be delicious and nutritious!!!

So far the best part of eating this way is that I haven't been bloated and/or overstuffed all day. Usually I have a tummy ache after my big lunch. Not today! I feel satisfied. And if I get hungry before work is over, I have that second pop tart, which I will eat without guilt. I will let you know how this intuitive eating affects my weight on Monday.

BTW, this is all advice from the book "Intuitive Eating" by Evelyen Tribole and Elyse Resch. Great book for people who have issues with binge and/or emotional eating, like me.

About me!!!

Hello, my name is Leah. I'm 25 and live in Memphis, TN. I am an administrative assistant for a small engineering firm, but aspire to go back to school to become something better. Also aspire to live in New York City before I'm 30.

The point of this blog is to document my weight loss journey along with other things. I made some New Years Resolutions on October 7 (my 25th birthday) :

-lose a lot of weight
-learn to cook 12 meals (one cooked meal a month is huge for someone who considers heating a can of soup cooking)
-read one book every week
-take at least one class at the community college for the spring 2010 semester

This blog will tell you how I'm doing on all of these!

But mostly it will be about how I'm incorporating Intuitive Eating and Weight Watchers into my life.